About Gabe

Who shall I be today? (2011)

 According to Merriam-Webster Online, Integrity is "firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values."

I didn't know what the text book definition of this word was until 2010. I remember sitting in the cool and clean Baskin Robbins in Southeast Portland twiddling my thumbs, wondering how I was going to screw the interview up.

I had submitted an application to work at the store about a few weeks prior, and now I found myself being interviewed by the store manager - a boyish man of about 25 years of age. The interview was quite typical, until I was caught off guard by his question:

What is integrity? Can you describe a time when you had integrity?

Think quick! Don't let him see you sweat! Geez, it's just an interview, how bad can this go? You don't really need the job anyway. Just.say.something.!!!!

I painfully stumbled through my answer and kept going in circles. I looked him in the eyes when I had finished my diatribe and quickly noticed his furrowed eyebrows and disapproving stare.

"Nope. That's not it."

I wrung my hands in desperation.

"Can you give me an example?"

2010 - I weighed 310lbs in this pic 

"Well, I went to school in a catholic seminary. While it was a good experience and I appreciated all I learned, towards the end of my time there, I realized I couldn't go on. It wouldn't be right for me to keep going the things were going. So I left. I left because I thought it would be an affront to who I am and it would have been dishonest."

Shifting in his chair, he raised his eyebrows and looked me over. "Hmm....that's exactly it."

He called a few days later to offer me the position.

I left just shy of five months as having two jobs -I worked at a church serving the underserved in downtown Portland- was becoming a bit of a strain.

Three yeas and six months later here I am.

The plan for this little blog of ours is to document are goals, challenges and accomplishments throughout the next 90 days as each takes on this opportunity for growth. For my part, I will undertake the P90X program and change some of my eating habits.

My current weight is at 279. Target weight? 230. My main priority is to incorporate exercise and healthy habits. 

To say that the next 90 days are going to be difficult is an understatement. I don't really like change. In fact, I hate it. I.HATE.CHANGE. but here we are. I don't know what these days will bring, but I am sure they will bring a lot of growth.

My reasons for doing this? I tend to be somewhat of a dreamer. Ok. I tend to be a really big dreamer. I have all these grandiose ideas and tend to get lost in all the minute details. So, while it is true that I hate change, I also want something better for myself.

2013 - I weighed 263 here

The past few months have brought wonderful and intense conversations with several friends. This has ultimately led me to the reality that in order to achieve anything, we must be made uncomfortable. We must be challenged. If we expect to ever accomplish those big dreams, then we're going to have to start with the little details. For me, that involves changing my perspective on food, exercise, well being and wholeness and creating healthy habits that will ultimately lead me to where I envision myself.





Here are my goals for the next 90 days:

1. Workout at least 3x a week. If I have enough energy, include more workouts in the other days. My goal is to be exercising at least 6 days a week by the end of the 90 days.

2. Be kind to myself. Even if I've just consumed an entire apple pie with a pint of ice cream.

3. Recognize throughout these 90 days that I've made some positive changes already. I will try to incorporate those on a permanent basis.

4. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.